Being a Freak

When in your life have you felt like a "freak?" How did it feel? Why did you feel like a "freak?" Have you treated anyone else like they were a "freak?" What does it mean to be a "freak?"

I think feelings of being a "freak" are inflicted by both oneself and the people around them. People usually capitalize on the insecurity/ vulnerability we feel ourselves. I found middle school to be one of the most vulnerable periods of my life. As my body changed so too did my perception of myself. Capitalizing on this insecurity, people re- affirmed my own self belief. I was clearly different. I was dorky, awkward, socially unaware and sheltered. To top it off I was a quadruplet! A "fourth of a brain," or "Wagner #3." At other times, because I was so sheltered, I was called "Flanders." It's quite hard to embrace these qualities when they are what bring you the most harassment/ ridicule.

I guess these labels all made me feel like a "freak." I was an outsider. I had few friends and little self confidence.

But everyone was feeling this way. And everyone got harassed for something. And given time, the oppressed became the oppressors. Unfortunately, that's what I did. I transferred my insecurities onto others in the form of ridicule. Like the human food chain, I picked on weaker more vulnerable species. To this day, I still remember calling this girl Camilla "retarded." People laughed and I thought I was a hot shot, until I experienced the same torment myself.

All things change with time however. As time passed I began feeling more comfortable in my own skin. I could embrace the diverse qualities of others as well as the great qualities about myself. I am awkward, outspoken, dorky and lovable. These qualities are what make me unique. I almost invite people to call me a "freak." I would wear such a label as a badge of honor. People try so desperately to fit in, even if it means sacrificing who they are. Why hide it? I am a bit strange/ peculiar. Wouldn't we all be if we acted on the surface how we felt deep down?